Why Your Boyfriend’s Female Bestie Will Always Be Your Problem
Let’s not lie, this matter no dey ever finish. Every time you hear “she’s just my bestie,” something in your spirit tells you it’s not that simple. And most times, you’re right. Because no matter how much you trust your boyfriend, that female bestie will always feel like competition… whether he admits it or not.
Think about it. She knows his gist from secondary school, she understands his mood swings, she probably has his embarrassing nicknames saved on her phone. You just came into the picture recently, but she has history with him. And in relationships, history always tries to collect respect by force.
Another problem is boundaries. Many guys don’t know how to draw the line. Today it’s “we’re just hanging out,” tomorrow it’s “we’ve been close since childhood,” and before you know it, you’re the outsider in your own relationship. And the worst part? Some female besties enjoy that position. They’ll act innocent in front of you but keep using inside jokes and coded familiarity to remind you she was there before you.
Of course, not every female bestie is a threat. Some genuinely respect the relationship and step back. But let’s be honest, most of the time, they bring silent tension. Even if nothing is happening physically, the emotional closeness is enough to make you feel like third wheel. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Guard your heart with all diligence.” Sometimes, guarding your heart means addressing that bestie matter with wisdom and honesty.
So, what’s the way forward? Don’t fight the bestie directly, you’ll only look insecure. Instead, set clear boundaries with your man. If he values you, he will make adjustments. If he keeps defending her at the expense of your peace, then sis… your problem is not just the bestie. It’s the boyfriend.
At the end of the day, the real question is… will you spend your relationship fighting shadows, or will you insist on a love that puts you first without apology?
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