Why Nigerian Mothers Always Think You’re Too Skinny

You know that look, right? The one your mother gives you when you walk through the door… that slow scan from head to toe, followed by the inevitable “Ah ah, have you been eating at all? You’re becoming too thin!” Meanwhile, you just checked the mirror this morning and felt perfectly fine about your body. But in Mama’s eyes, you’re practically wasting away.

This whole “you’re too skinny” conversation is like a rite of passage in Nigerian families. It doesn’t matter if you’re size 8 or size 16, if you’ve lost even the tiniest bit of weight since the last family gathering, trust Nigerian mothers to notice and diagnose you with immediate starvation. I’ve watched friends who are genuinely healthy get bombarded with extra rice, forced supplements, and concerned WhatsApp messages from aunties who heard “you’re looking slim.”

The truth is, this comes from a place of deep love and cultural memory. For our mothers’ generation, being well-fed was a sign of being well-cared for. In those days, if your child looked thin, neighbors might whisper that you weren’t providing properly. Weight was wealth, and a chubby child was a proud testament to good parenting. So when Mama sees you looking “lean,” her protective instincts kick in immediately.

But here’s where it gets complicated. Some of us are naturally slim, work out regularly, or simply have different body types from our parents. Yet we still get the pressure to “add more weight” or the concerned phone calls asking if everything is okay financially because “you’re looking too small.” It can mess with your head, especially when you’re actually taking good care of yourself.

The real wisdom here is understanding that your mother’s concern comes from love, not criticism. But you also need to know your own body and what healthy looks like for YOU. Don’t let anyone, even family, make you feel bad about being naturally slim or living healthily. The goal isn’t to be fat or skinny… it’s to be strong, healthy, and confident in your own skin.

Next time Mama starts the “you’re too thin” lecture, smile and reassure her that you’re eating well and taking care of yourself. Maybe even share a meal together so she can see you’re not starving. But don’t let anyone pressure you into unhealthy habits just to gain weight. After all, the same mothers who worry about you being thin will also worry if you gain too much weight later. Sometimes, you just can’t win… and that’s okay too.