What Wives Assume Their Husbands Know About Them
My beautiful sister, let me tell you something that might save your marriage from unnecessary wahala. You know how you get frustrated with your husband and think, “How can he not know this about me? We’ve been married for five years!” Well, I have news for you… that man probably has no idea what you’re thinking, and honestly, it’s not entirely his fault.
We wives have this interesting habit of assuming our husbands are mind readers. We think that because we’ve lived together, shared the same bed, and probably argued about the same things multiple times, they should automatically know what we need, want, and feel. But omo, that’s where we get it wrong.
Let’s start with something simple. You assume he knows your love language because you’ve shown him yours a thousand times. You cook his favorite meals, iron his clothes, and even take care of his needs because acts of service is how you show love to him. But when he doesn’t reciprocate the same way, you feel you are not loved. Meanwhile, he’s showing love by working extra hours to provide for the family or trying to spend time watching TV with you, not knowing that what you really want is help with the dishes.
Here’s another one that causes plenty fight in marriages… you assume he knows when you’re upset. You give him the silent treatment, respond with short answers, and expect him to figure out what’s wrong. In your mind, it’s obvious. But your husband is looking at you like, “Is she okay? Maybe she’s just tired.” He genuinely doesn’t know that you’re angry because he forgot to take out the trash after you mentioned it twice.
Most wives assume their husbands understand their emotional cycles. You know how you feel extra sensitive before your period, or how certain times of the month you need more emotional support? You think he should pick up on these patterns and adjust accordingly. But honestly, most men are not tracking this information unless you literally give them a calendar with warnings. funny right?
We also assume they know our social needs. You want to visit your family more often, spend time with friends, or attend that church program together. In your head, these things are important for your emotional wellbeing, and he should know this. But he might be thinking that since you didn’t specifically ask, it’s not that serious to you.
Here’s a big one… you assume he knows how much household responsibilities stress you out. You’re juggling work, children, cooking, cleaning, and managing the home, and you expect him to notice when you’re overwhelmed. You think he should just jump in and help without being asked. But he might genuinely not realize how much mental load you’re carrying because you’ve been managing it so efficiently.
Many wives assume their husbands know their insecurities and fears. Maybe you worry about your body after having children, or you feel inadequate compared to other women. You expect him to reassure you without you having to explain these feelings. But he looks at you and thinks you’re beautiful, not realizing you need to hear him say it more often.
You probably assume he knows your financial concerns too. Maybe you worry about the family budget, the children’s school fees, or saving for the future. These thoughts keep you up at night, but you expect him to sense your anxiety without you breaking down the specific worries you have.
Another assumption is about appreciation. You do so much for the family daily, and you assume he notices and appreciates it all. When he doesn’t verbally acknowledge your efforts, you feel taken for granted. But in his mind, he might think that saying “thank you” for everything would sound strange since you’re family.
Most wives also assume their husbands know their dreams and aspirations. Maybe you want to start a business, go back to school, or develop a particular skill. You’ve mentioned it casually in conversations, but you expect him to remember and actively support these goals. He might have heard you but didn’t realize how serious you were about it.
Here’s the thing that many of us don’t want to admit… we sometimes assume our husbands should know things we’ve never clearly communicated. We drop hints, make subtle comments, or expect them to pick up on non-verbal cues. Then we get frustrated when they don’t respond the way we hoped.
But let me tell you something, sister. Your husband is not your enemy, and he’s not intentionally ignoring your needs. Men and women often communicate and process information differently. What seems obvious to you might be completely unclear to him.
The solution is not to get angry or assume he doesn’t care. The solution is better communication. Instead of expecting him to know, tell him directly. Instead of dropping hints, have clear conversations about your needs, feelings, and expectations.
Don’t say, “You never help me.” Say, “I feel overwhelmed with housework. Can we create a schedule where you handle the dishes while I handle laundry?” Don’t assume he knows you want more affection. Tell him, “I feel loved when you hug me randomly or tell me I look beautiful.”
Remember, a good marriage requires two people who are willing to learn about each other continuously. Your husband wants to make you happy, but he needs clear guidance on how to do it. And honestly, you probably make assumptions about what he needs too.
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