What A Serious Man Looks For In A Lady On Their First Date (You Must Have At Least 2 As A Lady)

What A Serious Man Looks For In A Lady On Their First Date (You Must Have At Least 2 As A Lady)

First dates can be funny. You dress up, spray your best perfume, practice smile in the mirror, and still wonder, “What is this guy really checking for?” The truth is, every man may notice different things, but when it comes to serious men, the ones who are not just looking for cruise, there are some common things they pay attention to.

And no, it’s not only about makeup or expensive shoes. In fact, some men don’t even notice that your eyelash nearly touched the ceiling. What they really observe are deeper things. As a lady, you don’t need to have all of them, but at least two must show up naturally if you want him to see you as someone worth pursuing.

1. How You Carry Yourself On Your First Date (Confidence & Respect)

A serious man notices confidence quickly. Not arrogance, but that calm way you sit, talk, and interact without begging for attention. If you fidget too much, act fake, or try too hard, he can sense it.

Respect also shows. Do you talk to the waiter like a human being or like a servant? Do you listen when he speaks, or you’re busy pressing phone? A man that’s thinking of a future is scanning your character. Even Proverbs 31 says, “Her husband has full confidence in her…” That confidence starts from little moments.

2. Your Conversation (Depth vs. Surface)

Trust me, the gist on a first date can expose plenty. If all you can talk about is TikTok trends, gossip, or how “men are scum,” a serious man will quietly conclude, “This one no get depth.”

He wants to know if you can hold a conversation that has sense, your values, dreams, faith, even your struggles. You don’t need to sound like CNN, but let your words show substance. A woman with wisdom is like fresh breeze… refreshing, not draining.

3. Self-Control (Especially Around Food & Money Talk)

Let’s not lie, first date food wahala has scattered many impressions. Some men still remember the shock when a lady ordered for takeaway packs “for my younger brother at home.” A serious man is watching: do you eat with composure or act like it’s your last supper?

Same thing with money gist. If first date already turns into “my rent is due, my phone is bad, can you help me?” he’ll suspect you’re not there for relationship but for sponsorship. Self-control speaks volumes.

4. Femininity & Kindness

This one is less spoken but very real. Serious men notice how warm and kind you are. Do you smile easily? Do you treat people with gentleness? There’s a certain grace about a kind woman that makes a man think, “I can trust this person with my home, my children, my peace.”

It’s not about forming soft voice, it’s about genuine kindness. Even in Yoruba they say, “Ìwà l’ẹwà”—character is beauty.

5. Your Faith & Values (Even If Briefly Shown)

Not every first date will turn into Bible study, but somehow, your values will slip out. A serious man is checking if you have direction spiritually and morally. Do you believe in God? Do you have boundaries? Or are you just “anything goes”?

Men who are intentional about the future want women who can help build, not scatter. Your little hints about your faith or values can make him see you as someone with foundation.

A Small Story You Can Relate To

A guy once told me a story of how he met this fine lady, she is smart, classy, everything is on point. But during their first date, she kept insulting the restaurant staff and complaining about everything and everyone. He said right there, he lost interest. On the other hand, another lady he dated didn’t wear designer, but she carried herself with respect, laughed freely, and asked sensible questions. That humility and wisdom made him decide to see her again. Today, they’re married.

Let me round up with this small advice for you:

First dates are not interviews, but they are windows. A serious man is not just checking beauty, he his checking your character, conversation with him, and how you carry yourself when you’re with him. You don’t need to fake anything at all; all you need is to just let the best parts of you shine.

At least two of these qualities, confidence, depth, kindness, or clear values, must show naturally. That’s what makes a man leave saying, “I want to see her again.”