The Brutal Truth About Dating from 18-25 That Every Nigerian Girl Must Hear

A lady recently went viral for saying she regrets being in a committed relationship from 18 to 25, and now she’s encouraging young girls to “eat their youth” instead. The comments section exploded with mixed reactions… some calling her bitter, others saying she’s speaking facts. But before you pick a side, let me share what I’ve learned from watching too many young women navigate this exact situation.

The truth isn’t as simple as “stay single” or “commit early.” It’s much more complex than that.

Your Twenties Are Your Foundation Years

Here’s what many people don’t tell you… your twenties aren’t just about having fun. They’re about discovering who you are when nobody is watching, figuring out your values, building your career, making mistakes and learning from them. When you’re in a serious relationship during this period, you’re essentially building two people at the same time.

I’ve watched friends grow into completely different people from who they were at 18. The girl who wanted to be a teacher at 19 discovered her passion for business at 24. The one who thought she wanted a quiet life realized she actually thrived in Lagos hustle. But if you’re locked into someone else’s vision of your future too early, you might never discover your own path.

The Problem Isn’t Commitment, It’s the Wrong Kind of Commitment

That viral tweet hit so hard because many young women recognize themselves in it. They gave their best years to relationships that were going nowhere, with men who weren’t growing alongside them. They were faithful, supportive, and patient while their boyfriends “figured things out” for seven years.

But here’s the real issue… being committed to the wrong person or at the wrong time can steal more than just your youth. It can steal your self-discovery, your dreams, and your chance to become the woman you’re meant to be. When you’re busy being the perfect girlfriend to someone who’s not even sure about his own future, you’re not investing in yours.

What “Eating Your Youth” Really Means

Don’t misunderstand her message. “Eating your youth” doesn’t mean sleeping around or being reckless. It means investing in yourself first. It means saying yes to opportunities even if they’re inconvenient for your relationship. It means traveling, studying, building your career, making money, creating your own life.

It means not putting your dreams on hold because your boyfriend isn’t ready to move to Abuja for that job opportunity. It means not turning down that scholarship because he thinks long distance won’t work. It means not shrinking yourself to fit into someone else’s timeline.

The Relationship Lessons You Need to Learn

If you’re going to date in your twenties, date with wisdom. Don’t date men who see your ambition as competition. Don’t date someone who’s content to let you carry the relationship emotionally and financially while he “finds himself.” Don’t date anyone who makes you feel guilty for growing or changing.

Date someone who encourages your growth, celebrates your wins, and supports your dreams even when they’re inconvenient. Date someone who’s also building something for himself, not someone waiting for life to happen to him. Date someone who sees partnership as two people becoming better together, not one person completing the other.

The Marriage Pressure Trap

Nigerian culture puts so much pressure on young women to find husbands that we often forget to teach them how to find partners. There’s a difference. A husband is just a title… a partner is someone who walks through life with you as an equal.

Don’t let family pressure rush you into settling for the first guy who seems serious. Don’t mistake longevity for compatibility. Just because you’ve been together for years doesn’t mean he’s the right person for your future. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is let each other go to grow separately.

What I Wish Every Young Woman Knew

Your value doesn’t decrease with age, despite what society tells you. A woman who spends her twenties building herself, traveling, learning, earning, and becoming confident in who she is brings more to a relationship than someone who spent those years waiting for someone else to choose her.

The right person will appreciate the woman you’ve become through your experiences, not resent the time it took you to become her. If a man is intimidated by your growth, your travels, your career success, or your self-awareness, he’s not your person.

The Balance You’re Looking For

You can be open to love while still prioritizing yourself. You can date while building your career. You can be in a relationship while maintaining your independence. The key is choosing someone who enhances your life rather than restricts it.

Don’t close yourself off to love because you’re afraid of wasting time. But also don’t sacrifice your own development for a relationship that isn’t adding value to your life. Learn to recognize the difference between a partnership that grows you and a relationship that limits you.

Your Twenties Are Not Rehearsal Years

This is your real life happening right now. Every year you spend in a relationship that’s not serving you is a year you can’t get back. Every opportunity you decline because it doesn’t fit someone else’s plans is gone forever.

But also remember… every year you spend growing, learning, and becoming the best version of yourself is an investment that pays dividends for the rest of your life. Whether you end up married at 26 or 36, you want to be someone you’re proud of when you get there.

The Real Message

That viral tweet isn’t about hating relationships or encouraging reckless behavior. It’s about recognizing that your twenties are precious, and how you spend them matters. If you’re going to commit to someone during this crucial period, make sure they’re worthy of your best years.

Don’t give your youth to someone who doesn’t appreciate its value. Don’t sacrifice your growth for someone who’s not growing alongside you. And remember… it’s better to be single and becoming who you’re meant to be than coupled and losing yourself in someone else’s story.

Your twenties are not about finding someone to complete you. They’re about becoming so complete in yourself that when the right person comes along, you’re choosing them from a place of strength, not need.