I’ve Been Sending Money to My Ex Behind My Wife’s Back

I know what people will think, but hear me out… I’ve been sending money to my ex behind my wife’s back for over six months now. It started innocently, I mean, she called one night crying about some bills she couldn’t pay, and I just… I don’t know, I felt sorry for her. One small transfer turned into weekly transfers, and then it became a habit I can’t stop.

I lie to my wife constantly about “work expenses” or “helping a friend.” She has no idea. I feel like a terrible human being every single day, but whenever I try to stop, I convince myself that she really needs it. And the worst part? I still feel something… something I shouldn’t. I keep saying it’s just compassion, but deep down I know it’s not.

I’m shaking as I type this… Gospello you must promise to hide who I am. I can’t let anyone in my life find out. I feel trapped. Some nights I lie awake wondering if she’ll find out or if I’ll get caught. I’ve even thought about confessing to my wife, but the shame… I can’t even imagine her face if she knew.

I hate myself for doing this, and I hate that I can’t stop. Every time I send her money, a part of me dies a little inside. I just… I just want to be free from this guilt, but I also don’t want to destroy my marriage. How do you fix something when you’re the one breaking it every single day?

I can’t write anymore. This is too much.