Hidden Secrets Your Pastor Goes Through That You Might Never Know (Now You Know Now)

You see that pastor who stands confidently behind the pulpit every Sunday, delivering powerful messages that touch your heart and make you shout “Amen”? The one who seems to have direct access to God and never seems to struggle with anything? My brother, my sister, let me open your eyes to some things that happen behind those church walls and in the privacy of your pastor’s life that will shock you.

I’m not writing this to gossip or bring down men and women of God, but after being close to ministry life for years and having honest conversations with several pastors, I realized that we church members sometimes put these human beings on pedestals that are too high for any mortal to stand on. The pressure we put on them is killing them slowly, and most of them suffer in silence because they feel like they can’t be human in front of us.

They Cry More Than You Think

Your pastor goes home after Sunday service and sometimes breaks down completely. That powerful message he preached about faith and breakthrough? He delivered it while battling his own doubts and financial struggles. I know a pastor who preached about God’s provision while his electricity had been cut off for three weeks and his children were asking why there was no food in the house.

They cry when church members leave over petty issues. They cry when they pour their hearts into preparing sermons and only five people show up. They cry when people expect miracles from them as if they’re God himself. But come Sunday, they have to wipe those tears, put on a smile, and encourage you to trust God even when their own faith is being tested to the limit.

They Have Family Problems Too

That pastor whose marriage you admire and wish yours could be like? His wife might be threatening to leave him because he spends more time counseling other people’s marriages than working on his own. His children might resent him because he’s always available for church members but never has time for their school programs or just to play with them.

I know pastors whose teenage children rebel against everything about the church because they’ve seen the hypocrisy and politics behind the scenes. These children feel like they have to be perfect all the time because “Pastor’s children can’t misbehave,” and that pressure sometimes pushes them to do worse things in secret.

Some pastors’ wives are depressed and lonely because they can’t share their real struggles with anyone in the church. Who can the pastor’s wife complain to about her marriage problems? Who can she tell that she’s tired of always having to look put-together and spiritual?

The Money Wahala is Real

You think all pastors are driving big cars and living in mansions? My friend, you’re watching too much American televangelism. Many Nigerian pastors are struggling financially more than some of their church members. They can’t get regular jobs because ministry is a full-time calling, but the church can barely afford to pay them a living wage.

I’ve seen pastors who haven’t bought new clothes in years because every money that comes in goes back to church expenses or helping needy members. Some of them are embarrassed to ask the church for salary increases, so they suffer in silence while members assume they’re doing well because they’re “men of God.”

Some have to do side businesses or their wives work to support the family, but they can’t talk about their financial struggles publicly because church members expect their pastor to be blessed and prosperous as proof that God is with him.

They Battle Depression and Loneliness

This one will surprise you… many pastors are clinically depressed. They carry the burdens of hundreds of people on their shoulders. Every day, someone is calling them with a crisis, a sickness, a family problem, or a spiritual attack. They absorb all this pain and trauma but have nowhere to release it.

Who does the pastor call when he’s having a spiritual crisis? Who prays for him when he’s under demonic attack? Who counsels him when he’s discouraged and wants to quit ministry? Most of them have no one because other pastors are busy with their own struggles, and church members can’t handle seeing their spiritual leader as vulnerable and human.

Some pastors battle with the same sins they preach against. They struggle with pornography, anger, pride, or doubt, but they can’t seek help because the church expects them to be holy and above such things.

The Political Pressure in Church

Your pastor is probably walking on eggshells with some powerful members in the church who think their financial contributions give them the right to control church decisions. He might be preaching watered-down messages to avoid offending certain families who threaten to leave and take their tithes with them.

Some pastors can’t preach against certain sins because the biggest contributors in the church are guilty of those very things. They watch their church members live in disobedience but feel powerless to address it because they need those people’s support to keep the church running.

What You Can Do

Stop expecting your pastor to be perfect. Pray for him and his family regularly. Support him financially when you can, and don’t make him feel guilty for having human needs. Give him permission to take breaks and have bad days without questioning his calling.

Remember, your pastor is human first, minister second. The same grace you need from God, your pastor needs it too. The same love and understanding you want when you’re struggling, your pastor deserves it as well.