CONFESSION: The Secret Relationship I’ve Been Hiding From My Husband

CONFESSION: The Secret Relationship I’ve Been Hiding From My Husband

I don’t even know where to start… like my chest dey heavy as I dey type this. Sometimes I wonder if God go ever forgive me, if people see me finish like this. Omo, it’s 2am and I just dey stare at my phone screen… my husband dey sleep for room and me I dey here like criminal wey no get peace of mind.

Ehn… the truth be say… I’ve been hiding something from him. For months now. And it’s killing me small small. Like how did I even get here?? Me wey people dey call “church mama”, “prayer warrior”… if only they know.

But wait… is it just me? Or some of you dey do double life too? Like during the day, I’m the “perfect wife”… smile, cook, support his hustle, pray together… but at night, I dey text another man. Omo, typing this sef dey make me shake.

And the worst part… it’s not even like I don’t love my husband. I swear I do. He’s a good man. But something inside me… I no dey satisfied. I dey crave that attention, those sweet words, the “I miss you” texts. Sometimes I feel alive when I’m talking to this other guy… then immediately guilt go just rush me like flood.

I love God but I hate myself sometimes. Crazy abi? One minute I dey speak in tongues, the next I dey delete chat history like thief. I swear, I no even understand myself again.

And then… omo, I don’t even want to say it. The day I almost kissed him… God knows my knees were shaking. If not that my phone rang that moment, maybe I for don cross that line. And that one thought dey haunt me till today. Like, am I already cheating in my heart? Or is it only when body touch body? Abeg who dey set these rules sef?

I noticed it usually happens when me and hubby get small quarrel. That’s when I run to this guy for comfort. But if we settle, I feel disgusted with myself. Like, “girl, what are you doing?” And yet… I still reply his texts.

Sometimes I dey laugh with my husband for living room but deep down my mind dey on another man’s message. Imagine that? If he ever finds out… I don’t even know. This marriage fit scatter. My reputation fit finish.

But here’s the madness — a small part of me dey enjoy the risk. That secret thrill. And then guilt go slap me again. Omo, it’s like prison inside my own head.

I don’t even know why I typed all this, maybe because silence dey choke me. Maybe someone out there go understand this wahala, or maybe God just wanted me to pour it out here tonight.