CONFESSION: My Elder Sister Doesn’t Know I Dated Her Ex-Boyfriend

My Elder Sister Doesn’t Know I Dated Her Ex-Boyfriend

Gospello please hide my identity

I’ve been wanting to write this for months but… I keep chickening out. Like what if someone figures out it’s me? But I can’t sleep at night anymore so here goes nothing.

My elder sister doesn’t know I dated her ex-boyfriend. For 6 months. And it ended badly.

Okay let me explain before you judge me completely. Sarah (not her real name obviously) dated this guy Tunde back in 2019. They were together for almost 2 years and honestly, I thought they would get married. But things fell apart… she said he was immature and not ready for commitment blah blah. They broke up and she was heartbroken for months.

Fast forward to 2021, I was in my final year and I kept bumping into Tunde around campus. We started talking as friends… you know, just casual gist about school, life, how Sarah was doing. But then… I don’t know how it happened but we started getting closer. Like really close.

He would text me good morning, we’d talk for hours, he’d bring me food when I was studying late in the library. And yes, I started catching feelings. Big time. I knew it was wrong… this is my sister’s ex we’re talking about! But mehn, the way this guy made me feel… I felt special, you know?

One thing led to another and we started dating. Secretly of course. I couldn’t tell anyone. Not my friends, definitely not my family. Sarah would literally kill me if she found out. So for 6 whole months, I was living this double life.

The worst part was when Sarah would call and complain about being single or talk about how hurt she still was over Tunde. I would just sit there like… sis if you knew what I knew. The guilt was eating me alive honestly but I was also… happy? Like genuinely happy for the first time in years.

But you know how these secret relationships go. They never end well. Tunde started acting funny, saying maybe we should just be friends because “it’s complicated with your sister and all.” Then I found out from his roommate that he was talking to someone else. Another girl entirely. Not even Sarah… someone completely new.

Gospello please hide my identity… I’m scared someone might recognize this story

When I confronted him, he said he never promised me anything serious and that I knew the situation was complicated from the start. Can you imagine? After 6 months of making me feel like I was the only one, he just discarded me like I was nothing.

The breakup was messy. I was crying, begging him not to leave… it was embarrassing honestly. And the worst part? I couldn’t even tell anyone why I was heartbroken. My friends just thought I was stressed about final year project.

Now it’s been two years and I’m still carrying this secret. Sarah still asks me about guys I’m dating and why I’m still single. Sometimes she even mentions Kemi… like “I wonder what that boy is doing now” and I just want to disappear into the ground.

I feel like I betrayed her trust even though technically she was over him when we started dating. But still… there’s something called girl code, right? Sisters before misters and all that. I broke that code and karma came for me hard.

The thing is… I still think about him sometimes. About us. About what could have been if the situation was different. And I hate myself for it because he treated me like trash in the end.

I don’t know if I should tell Sarah the truth. Part of me thinks she deserves to know, but another part is like… what’s the point now? It will just hurt her and ruin our relationship for something that’s already over and done with.

I just needed to get this off my chest. The guilt is suffocating me and I can’t keep pretending like nothing happened. I messed up… I know I did. I just don’t know how to fix it or move on from it.

If you’re reading this and you’ve ever been in a similar situation… please tell me it gets better. Because right now I feel like the worst sister and the biggest fool in the world.