Nigerian Men Who Want Submissive Wife But Can’t Lead Themselves

Everywhere you turn, Nigerian men are shouting, “I want a submissive wife… a woman that will respect me, obey me, and follow my lead.” But the question is… lead where? Because many of these same men demanding submission have no direction in their own lives.

Let’s be honest… submission is not the problem. Plenty women are willing to respect and follow their husbands. The real issue is leadership. A man that has no vision, no discipline, and no plan has no business asking a woman to submit. You can’t be confused about your life and still expect somebody else to confidently follow you.

I know one sister who told me her fiancé was always shouting about submission. But when she asked him, “What’s your five-year plan? How do you want us to build our future?” the guy had no answer. His only plan was vibes and weekend hangouts. Yet he wanted her to surrender her whole destiny to his “leadership.” How?

Leadership is not about shouting. It’s not about flexing authority or demanding respect. It’s about responsibility. A real leader sets direction, makes sacrifices, and takes initiative. If you want a woman to submit to you, then give her something worth submitting to. Provide vision, stability, and godly example. Even the Bible says in Ephesians 5:23 that the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church. But remember… Christ leads with love, not laziness.

Too many Nigerian men confuse control with leadership. They think being a leader means telling a woman to keep quiet, cook for them, or quit her job. That’s not leadership… that’s insecurity. Real leadership inspires respect, it doesn’t force it. A woman who sees her husband working hard, making wise decisions, and taking care of the family will naturally submit. No drama, no shouting.

Brothers, let me say this clearly. If you’re not leading yourself well—if you can’t manage your own money, control your temper, or even pray for yourself—don’t expect a woman to hand you her whole life. Start by submitting yourself to God, then lead by example. That’s how true headship works.

And sisters, here’s the wisdom. Don’t let any man bully you into blind submission in the name of culture or religion. Submission is beautiful, but only when it’s to a man who is leading with sense and with Christ. Don’t tie your destiny to someone who has no map.

At the end of the day, marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship. Men, if you want a submissive wife, become a worthy leader. Women, if you want peace, choose a man whose life is already following God’s direction.

Because the truth is simple… you can’t follow a man who doesn’t even know where he’s going.